I remember exactly where I was as an adolescent when the “Forever Wars” began after 9/11. We were told it was about safety, about “weapons of mass destruction,” about protecting our way of life.​

Now, I look at my oldest daughter, who is an adolescent herself, and I feel a sickening sense of déjà vu. We are watching the cycle repeat, entering another overseas conflict that doesn’t benefit our families, our schools, or our future. All it does is deeply sink our country into more debt and sacrifice our very best men and women.

Just days ago, I took my two young children to the Iowa State Capitol. I wanted to show them what service looks like, so we stood before the memorial ‘Honoring Iowa’s Eternal Patriots.’ It’s a dedication to all those Iowans who lost their lives in the wars following 9/11. Outside the glass case, there were two larger portraits for the two Iowa servicemen we just lost in December: Staff Sgt. Edgar Torres-Tovar and Staff Sgt. William Nathaniel Howard.

We stood there as a family and said a prayer for our fallen heroes. I explained to my children that we have people serving right now, at this very moment, and we said another prayer for those overseas.

Never did I imagine that less than 24 hours later, we would learn of Sgt. Declan Coady falling victim to the same cycle.​

Today, I was at the RecPlex with my young son. We’re playing under the American flag in the same town that Sgt. Declan Coady called home…

I want to be clear, I am forever grateful for the men and women in uniform. I am grateful for the shield they provide so my kids can play without fear. I honor their service and their heart.​ 🇺🇸

But Declan didn’t die protecting the peace of his hometown. Declan wasn’t on the defense of Iowa. He was fighting a war for someone else’s interests.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio said it plainly this week​:

“We knew that there was going to be an Israeli action, we knew that that would precipitate an attack against American forces, and we knew that if we didn’t preemptively go after them, we would suffer higher casualties. We are in a position where we are defending a partner, and that defense carries a price that we have to be willing to pay.”​

But who is ‘we‘? Marco Rubio says ‘we’ have to be willing to pay the price, but ‘we’ aren’t the ones in a humid shipping container in Kuwait. ‘We’ aren’t the ones who had to tell a mother in West Des Moines that her 20-year-old son, an Eagle Scout with a Drake University ID still in his wallet, isn’t coming home…​

We are putting our kids in the line of fire not because our borders are being crossed, but because we are choosing to join a conflict for another country’s benefit.

​Enough is enough! ​​Our best and brightest, like Declan, sign up to serve us. They deserve to be used for the defense of our nation, not as a preemptive “buffer” for foreign interests.

​Declan didn’t deserve this end. My kids don’t deserve to grow up in a world where “war” is just a permanent background noise like it was for us Millennials​

We owe it to the memory of Sergeant Coady to demand that our leaders stop sacrificing our children for wars that aren’t ours to fight.​

RIP Sgt. Declan Coady 2005–2026